POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING: Self Harm, Depression, and mentions of Suicide
It's tough, sometimes. There are nights when you lay in bed, a deep, empty ache in your chest as you worry about your friends, who have poured their hearts out to you, and rely on you to be their rock, and to be there for them.
There are times when I'll be sitting in class, it'll be a good day, and a friend of mine will drop a suicide joke, and I'll just burst into tears.
Depression is real. Self-Harmers feel real pain. Depression isn't something you can get over.
Why can't people see that?
It's as if they don't care that people die every day.
My peers whine and complain because they don't have the newest iPhone, or the newest jeans, or the best purse, but they don't realize that some kids, their age, have only a blade for comfort.
It hurts, just sitting here and writing this. Pain is a part of what I do. To help people, and to try to make them realize they are worth it, you have to try and understand their pain.
Nothing hurts more than having a friend who doesn't see their own beauty.
But, this part has it's upsides.
Knowing that you really helped someone, and that you saved a life, and knowing that you're a beautiful and kind human being. Having people message you their stories of recovery, and tell you that it was you that started them on this road to self-loving...That's what makes it all worth it.
And, my job won't be done. Not for a long time. In fact, I don't think it will ever be done.
But, as long as I can help, I will. And, after I die, there will be someone just as compassionate as me to take my place. Someone will step up to help. There will always be someone willing to help. Never forget that.
Because, even though helping hurts, it also heals.