[ Neko!England ] Backfired Chp. 3 [ Reader ]

You peered around the corner at Arthur who was plopped down in the living room. He’d moved the table off to the side so he could be situated in the exact center of the living room with multiple spellbooks gathered around him in a circle. He sighed and rubbed his temples, grumbling to himself as he turned another page in a book to the right of him.

‘Perfect,’ you thought.

This was just the right time to put your plan into action. Grinning mischievously you silently slid away from the living room and to your room.

Going into the top drawer you pulled out a long black rod with an even longer black rope attached to a bundle of feathers and a little mouse toy that jingled each time it was shook. The smirk widened even more. You walked back toward the wall and looked around the corner yet again.

“Time to play, little Artie~” You whispered, almost inaudibly so as not to alert Arthur. You took the end of the toy in your hand and softly rang the bell. Arthur’s head snapped over in the direction of the wall, a questioning look on his face as he glanced around.

“Was that you, Tinkerbell?” He asked, looking over to the side of him.

 You rolled your eyes and the smirk dropped from your lips. There he went with his imaginary friends again. Your sadistic grin reappeared in full force, however, when you jingled the bell yet again and then, threw the end of the toy around the corner. Arthur’s head whipped over and his eyes narrowed, his tail twitching slightly.

“What on Earth…?” He muttered, his eyes scanning the toy as if it were a bomb.

You could see it, the war his mind was raging. The cat instincts were fighting against the human, so-called ‘gentlemanly’ mind. It was all rather amusing, the way he dug his tooth into his upper lip slightly, showing his distress, the way his tail flicked back and forth, never remaining still, the way his cat ears twitched as you tugged on the black rod, causing the bell to jingle yet again. His ears twitched and he bit his lip harder, letting out a tiny sort of whimper that you found absolutely adorable.

You jingled the bell one more time and something seemed to snap in Arthur, it was visible to. He blinked and when he opened his eyes again, they were the same deep green but had the feline pupils. The dark shape of his pupil was wide and curious as he stared intently at the toy, crawling over toward it, carefully stepping over the books. You really thought he was quite adorable right now, considering he was still in only his pajamas and you’d managed to force him to cut a hole in the back of the pair of pants for his tail.

Finally, he sat in front of the toy, staring down at it with his head cocked. A small, sweet smile played on your lips and you had to stifle a giggle when he reached out and tentatively poked it. You jingled the toy unexpectedly and he jumped back, glaring at the toy as if it had insulted him. You put a hand over your mouth, realizing that if you kept this up, you were going to need duck tape to watch him and keep from giggling.

Once Arthur realized the toy wouldn’t attack him, and that was a long and agonizing two minutes of holding in giggles and squeals as he poked and observed the toy as if it were a deadly poison. Finally, he sat there, in a crouched position, his tail flitting back and for excitedly. The look in his eyes…Well, there was nothing else to call it but determined. He was so ADORABLE like this~!! Just looking at him, acting like a little kitten and playing around, it was enough to make you want to glomp the poor unsuspecting Englishman, er, Englishcat.

Eventually, he pounced on the toy, rolling around with it and making soft growling noises in his throat. You pulled your phone out of your back pocket and, after turning off the sound, started recording this. What? You needed blackmail material! Besides, he was just SO CUTE like this…you wanted to be able to squeal over the video later in the privacy of your home. Most of the nations, besides maybe Japan and definitely Hungary, knew you had a slight obsession with all things anime, manga, etc. When Japan had created the web-comic, then the manga and finally the Hetalia anime, most of the nations just ignored it, refusing to believe it existed. You and Hungary, however, were extreme fans of it and thanks to your connections with Japan you were able to get fanarts and doujins that weren’t available the America.

Thus, you had developed a fangirl obsession over all things cute pertaining to Hetalia. You bit you bottom lip in an attempt to keep from chuckling darkly. Hungary was so getting a copy of this video later. You bit your bottom lip so hard it almost bled when you saw England, on his back, his hands pawing innocently at the toy. His green, feline eyes were wide and he was purring softly. He was also bent in a sort of curve that you’d see if you’ve ever observed a cat or dog lying on their backs. Finally, you stopped the video, slowly set the toy down and bolted back to your room, closing the door softly. Then, you locked it and took out your laptop and a USB cord, immediately hooking up your phone to the laptop.

Dark, sadistic chuckles escaped your lips as you downloaded the video and then began to IM your close friend, Hungary, in a website just for Hetalia fangirls that you and she were the administrators of.

FryingPanOfDoom : Hey (y/n)! I didn’t see you online yesterday, something happen?

TeaNSconesPlz : Hey, Eliza~ Sorry ‘bout that, got stuck with a drunken Arthur because Alfred didn’t want to deal with him.

FryingPanOfDoom : Oooh~!! Did anything happen? TELL ME!

TeaNSconesPlz : Uh…I guess you could say that…

FryingPanOfDoom : What do you mean? C’mon, don’t avoid the subject or I’ll spam your inbox with the newest UsUk doujin!!!

You cringed. While you could be a fan of yaoi, you did NOT like UsUk or FrUk or SpUk. You hated really any pairing with Arthur…mostly because you wanted him to yourself, which is why you read England X Reader Inserts as well as wrote them. Many of the girls online claimed to get nosebleeds constantly when reading your work.

TeaNSconesPlz : NO! NO! Anything but THAT, Eliza!

FryingPanOfDoom : Then tell meeeeee…

You sighed softly and stared at the computer screen for a long moment.

FryingPanOfDoom : (y/n)?Oh,  (y/n)~?

TeaNSconesPlz : Fine, but swear on your frying pan that you will NOT come by the house and not tell a SOUL until this is resolved. Got it?

There was a five minute wait before your laptop pinged again with Eliza’s message.

FryingPanOfDoom : …fine…

You smirked smugly. You’d got Elizabeta, the most stubborn of all your friends to swear on something. That, you thought, was an amazing accomplishment. Two seconds later your laptop pinged yet again.

FryingPanOfDoom : NOW TELL ME (Y/N)!

You slowly typed out the events of last night, as well as your plan. When you finally sent it, Eliza took three minutes to reply.

FryingPanOfDoom : You, my friend, ARE AN EVIL GENIUS! I SWEAR, I LOVE YOU~!!

You fell backwards, laughing loudly at your friend’s outburst. While she wasn’t usually like this when you saw her offline but online…Well, people were very different the moment they turned on a computer. The ‘proper young lady’ Eliza was revered as a steamy yaoi lemon-writing goddess and you, the girl who wouldn’t be given a second glance, was seen as a crazy, fun, England obsessed anime fan online.

TeaNSconesPlz : I have a video if you want to see it~

Ten seconds later.

FryingPanOfDoom : SEND THE VIDEO, NOW, IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE.

You laughed yet again and sent her the file containing the video. You decided, while she was watching it, that you’d re-watch it. About five minutes later, you could’ve sworn you heard her squeal all the way from Hungary. She started messaging you, all the words complete gibberish seeing as Eliza, so caught up in her fangirlishness, had switched to typing in Hungarian.

TeaNSconesPlz : Lizzy! LIZZY! Calm down for a moment! I can’t understand Hungarian, remember?

FryingPanOfDoom: Oh….yea…sorry…But, anyway, OMG THAT IS SO CUUUUUUTE~!!! You HAVE to get more! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaase~?

TeaNSconesPlz : Fine, fine, fine. But you won’t tell anyone, right?

FryingPanOfDoom : …what about Japan…?

TeaNSconesPlz : No! Lizzy! Don’t! You swore on your frying pan! If you go back on that swear, you know what you have to do right?

You could tell Eliza was shuddering. The punishment for breaking a promise made on her All Mighty Frying Pan was to go on a date with Prussia. Whenever you would swear on that frying pan, the punishment was so that you’d have to go on a date with France and not hurt him in any way, shape or form.

FryingPanOfDoom : …FINE… But, in turn, YOU have to send me pics and videos CON-STANT-LY. Got it?

TeaNScones : Fine. Oh, shit! Sounds like Arthur’s done with the cat toy and he sounds PISSED. I G2G, be sure to tell everyone on the site that I’ll be updating soon on the series and that I’ll be starting a new one, m’kay?

FryingPanOfDoom : Sure thing, sis! C’ya~!

You smiled warmly before shutting down your laptop. Eliza considered you like a little sister so she constantly called you ‘sis’, even around people like Prussia who were bound to tease her for it.

Saying goodbye to your friend, you shut down the computer before hearing Arthur’s cursing coming from the living room. Wincing at each ‘colorful’ word to grace your ears, you stood up and went out to see him pacing back and forth.

“What is it, Artie~?” You chimed, putting a happy bounce in your voice. He immediately glared at you.

“My name is Arthur. And the problem is…that!” He said, pointing at the cat toy. “Do you know where that came from, by chance?”

You shook your head.

“Nope, I have no idea what it’s doing in here…maybe you still had it around when I had Ally-Cat and you had Muffins.” You said, crossing your arms.

PERFECT, a reason to have all these cat toys lying around!

When you’d lived here, you and England had both decided to get cats. You’d named your cat Alex but you called him Ally-cat constantly, since he was a pure black cat with milky green eyes that pierced through the darkness.  Muffins was Alex’s sister that you’d adopted from the shelter. Instead of her being black though, she’d been the same creamy white that Arthur was. When you moved in, Muffins took an instant liking to Arthur and quickly became his cat.

“I guess…” He mumbled, rubbing the back of his head.

You tilted your head to the side and, keeping an innocent smile on your lips, asked,

“Why were you asking? What happened?”

Arthur turned that deep shade of red again and wrung his hands nervously.

“Uh, no…No problem at all…It was just a bit distracting.” He said, picking up the toy gingerly and setting it on the table.

Then, he returned to his spellbooks.

The night went on without a hitch. As the two of you ate, Arthur told you that he’d made some progress on finding the spell. What he’d said to you made pretty much no sense but you still listened, remembering each word in case you may ever need to help him with finding this spell. After dinner was finished, the dishes were cleaned and you forced Arthur to go to sleep, you crawled into your bed and grabbed a small notebook where you kept a list of the toys you’d bought.

Mouse, feathers and bell on a stick and rope – Success, video evidence taken.

You scribbled down that last note before hiding it in your drawer and yawning loudly. Then, you stretched out and shut the light out, quickly going to sleep and eagerly awaiting the next morning.